Despicable Me....

When you find the time check out Despicable Me. At the outset it seems like a corny villain flick, but it has a lot more heart then that.

It starts out introducing Gru our antihero protagonist. He clearly has some issues, which really appealed to me. As a flawed character he has issues with his dog, his mom, his neighbor, and the Bank (formerly Lehman Brothers). He needs to up his evil mojo to reclaim some of his self confidence.

We are also introduced to VECTOR!, the up and coming tween aged scourage of civilized society. As annoying as I found him, I did love his lair. Anyone with a shark tank in their place is okay with me!

Dr. Nefario is the bumbling version of James Bond’s “Q”. I think they could have written him a little bit differently, but his restricted screen time does not damage the overall story.

The orpahage girls are cute but a bit of a plot device to advance the conflict. But they do have a couple of good oneliners.

The caper is the impossible task of stealing the moon from orbit. All of this by itself would really have left me thinking that this movie is a bit on the lame side. And then I met Gru’s minions. They might look like pill shaped cyclopses, but they steal the show. A lot of sight gags for the kids and a couple for the parents, really made this movie for me. I actually think that the Minions could have their own show. And they might, if enough people go and see it. Not unlike the breakout stars of Madagasgar’s penguins, I hope to see the minions return to the screen soon!

3.5 Minions out of 5

Network TV pisses me off Part 2

This whole thing about "Defying Gravity" really has left me in a tizzy.

My time is precious and television has to engage me. I look for smart dialog, interesting environments, clean effects, and strong casting. Clearly I am not cut out to be a television executive. Now I know that I do not actually have the knowledge required to run a television network, but seriously, how hard can it be? Maybe it is the need to placate the lowest common denominator in the audience.

Reflecting, I am moving farther and farther from network television offerings. I despise reality competitions, all daytime programming, and most formulaic sitcoms and dramas. I like thinking and being engaged in the shows that I watch. I can only think of two shows that I followed that ended on their own terms, one was Star Trek: The Next Generation and the other was Law & Order...oh wait that spin off maker is still going. So just Next Gen. Wait wait....Sopranos! Ooops that was cable. Okay, just Next Gen. then.

Looking back at the graveyard of shows struck down before their prime for me includes: Everwood (the CW), Gilmore Girls (the CW), the Unit (CBS), the West Wing (NBC), Firefly (FOX), Defying Gravity (ABC), Alias (ABC), What About Brian? (CW), and E-Ring (NBC). If you've never heard of some of these shows, that is okay. Many only lasted a season or two, if they were lucky.

I have wished for years that shows, when it was decided to take them off prime time, would be allowed to finish out on a cable channel. I am starting to see this transition a little at a time. Leaping to mind is Law & Order Criminal Intent making its home on USA for new episodes. Also, Southland was just canceled and then revived to live on TNT as it was too dark for NBC's evening line up. So what happens to other shows. I would love to see full seasons ordered and then if ratings are not strong, given the chance to move into other media, be it cable channels, Hulu, or iTunes. There has been evidence that shows can find audience bases if they are given the time. Would shows like Friends, Sienfeld, Sanford & Son, the Cosby Show make it in the modern programming climate? Would they have made it past episode 3 (the dreaded cut off point)?

What could happen if Joss Wheadon's Dollhouse took flight from FOX's chopping block to find refuge on Mike's Savior Network? Would it build its fan base into something more? Move from cult favorite to rival something like 24?

Speaking of 24, I have to say I loved Season 1. I loved the idea and the presentation, but FOX went and whored that concept out as well....seriously we're on what? season 6? They "Die Hard"'d that one way too much [John McClain is the MOST UNLUCKY cop in the world]. My suspension of disbelief does have some limits.

Interestingly, (to me at least) I have become an actor stalker of sorts. Nathan Fillion is one who steps to the forefront. I became a huge fan through Firefly and Serenity, but ended up following him to Wisteria Lane? What the hell? Luckily my wife watches that show, so I got to tv stalk him while spending quality time with my spouse. Now he has moved on to his own show Castle (ABC) and I am thrilled to find him with smart dialog again. Another one that I have followed is Mark Harmon, now leading the cast of NCIS, but had gotten me hooked by his performance as CJ Craig's secret service detail on the West Wing. In a happy convergence of talent Michael Weatherly I stalked from Dark Angel...

So 10 years ago I had a bunch of shows that I loved. Now I have two different time delay recording technologies that I barely tax to maintain my televsion needs...

As soon as NCIS & Castle's ratings dip and they get axed, I think I'll be done with network programming completely.

Eff 'em, I hope Hulu and iPad put them out to pasture...greedy bastards.

Network TV pisses me off Part 1

So...how to begin. This always seems to happen to me and I never think to rant about it. Well, last week I was shopping for a DVD and came across a TV series I had only caught an episode or two of. It piqued my interest and on a total lark bought it.

This show had been a summer release on one of the big three networks and I had stumbled across it twice before. Now, I never have to opportunity to watch "live" television as my schedule generally precludes that from me. But there I sat chatting with my wife and kids while randomly catching bits and pieces of dialog and plot from these two episodes.

What struck me was the production value. Normally, sci-fi on tv either looks really good or really cheesy and
(to my way of thinking)...this show had to be on solid ground because it looked great and was in a prime slot. So I was looking forward to catching up on it in reruns.

Back to the present: Now it is January and I'm standing in the electronics department and see this show sitting there on the shelf...I'm game. I pick it up and bring it home. I figured I'd watch the Pilot episode and based on its merits decide when I would watch the rest of the series. Again, I was struck by the production value. The casting was good and the story and manner of plot delivery was really enjoyable.

Now before I get too far, I'll reveal that I had had a similar experience once before. I found a movie that looked good, I recalled that it got some really interesting reviews and then it kind of disappeared. That movie was Joss Whedon's "Serenity" and my infatuation with it led me to research as much about it as possible. How was it that I missed a television show by the name of "Firefly"? It was right in my wheelhouse. I was the target demographic. Well some how I did. And I must say that I really dislike Fox for that mismanagement.

So here I am again with a fabulously interesting and well done Pilot episode. What can I do? I watch the rest of the disc, 2 more episodes and I am hooked. All in all, I watched the entire series of 13 episodes in the course of a few days and each episode got better and better. The plot got more twisted, the mystery deepened, the characters evolved (and grew on me), the story was enriched. Now that I have watched the entire first season and as I have come to learn the entire series. I am pissed off again, this time at ABC. ABC also pulled all of the content from Hulu and iTunes, destroyed the sets and released the cast and crew, to add insult to injury I learned they only aired the first 8 episodes! So no second season for me.

Fortunately, I found an interview with the creator, who read from his show bible and revealed (to my eternal thanks) several of the secrets and resolutions of the first season.

So here I rant, cursing ABC and all the other network television executives who cut well written shows mid-season.

Oh, I forgot to name this sci-fi gem for you...it is called "Defying Gravity" and if you get the chance to see it, I highly recommend it.

The Halfling Pirate!

Syed was born the younger twin to Bergohand and Roussa Tripplight. The Tripplight clan ran the highly profitable White Star Shipping lines along the Sword Coast. White Star maintains several lucrative contracts with Ahm merchant houses and Waterdeep trade guilds.

Born Wylan Tripplight, he and his older twin and five elder cousins were raised to take over the family business.

For 30 years Wylan lived on or near the waterways. He spent every waking minute honing his craft and exploring the inlets near his home. Any water-based activity was his joy, sailing, fishing, and swimming.

While being close to his mother, Wylan idolized his father and elder brother, Willem. The summer of his 30th year, Wylen experienced a life shattering set of events. Bergo, Willem and three of his uncles were in Athkatla when negotiations turned sour the merchant house had the White Star delegation murdered. In the following weeks, White Star has a rash of arsons and piracies. Wylan was captain of a Galleon en route to Waterdeep with a new crew out of Baldur’s Gate when they mutinied and forced Wylen from the ship. Wylen was able to make it to Mintarn where he was able to discern that the attempt on his life was still an open contract. Wylen decided at that time to adopt the identity of a childhood friend who had died. And so Syed Hylette El was born. Syed found work as a navigator in the Mintarn Navy.

Syed spent a few years looking for the pirates that hijacked his family’s ship, but decided to move into the pirate community to find out more. His skills land him a job as a gunner, but he quickly ascended to the position of quartermaster of “Winged Scourge”. He was elected captain and became a very successful along the Amnish coastline. He currently has two ships in his fleet, both operating as raiders against the Merchant Houses. Although neither ship will attack a White Star flagged ship they have the reputation of being professional and leaving a minimum loss of life. Aberdajinn Firebeard, former quartermaster of the Scourge is captain of the “Hidden War”. Both crews have profited handsomely under Syed’s leadership and are fiercely loyal to him.

Every year Syed renews his vow to find the agents responsible for the death of his family. And every year the anger fades a little bit more.


The Winged Scourge
Captain: Syed El
First Mate: Turuk Mastsplitter
Quartermaster: Luca Bloodstone
Boatswain: Sinead Soiel
Gunner: Boom Boom Velez
Cooper: Bishop Hops
Powder Keg Monkey: Sur ‘resh


The Hidden War
Captain: Aberdajinn Firebeard
First Mate: Vandoa LaRue
Quartermaster: Balan Keelbreaker
Boatswain: Anatole Shipcutter
Gunner: Knurl Hammerson
Cooper: Elder Andersohn
Powder Keg Monkey: Dorn the Younger

Scales of War Game Recap VIII-July 12th, 2009

Scales of War Game Recap VIII-July 12th, 2009

Stormlords (Present)

Samantha (Halfling Rogue) - Storm Chaser - Todd

Wardren (Half-Elf Paladin) - John

Niles (Drow Bard) - Purple Rain - Brian

Duamerthrax (Dwarf Beastmaster Ranger) w. White Wolf Deifenbacker- The Twin Storms - TJ

Hurricane (Human Wizard) - Starts Out Slow and Ends in Disaster- Tony

Vala (Elf Druid) - Stephanie

Syed (Halfling Pirate) - Mike T

Stormlords (Not Present)

Almirith (Eladrin Warlord) - The Approaching Storm - Robert

Tuldil'el (Genasi Cleric of the Raven Queen) - The Calm Before the Storm - Mike D

Nebin (Halfling Fighter) - Ashby

The party retreated to the camp, to rest for the evening. Almirith remained at camp as the rest of the party prepared to return to the Ettercap room. Moving through the room the party accessed a newer part of the dungeon.

"Von Adrez-Kauthin Crypt Crypt"

Combat Round 1:

The party enters the room to discover five hobgoblin guards and some spitting drakes.

Syed's deadeye opens the round and drops a hobgoblin with a headshot. A sneaky foul smelling goblin launches a vexing cloud obfuscating the party's vision. The party leaped from the cloud and launched themselves against the villians. The drakes spit and snapped and the party slashed and shot until several hobgoblin minions fell. Niles sings a new song (something about a tale of the sea, that Syed took offense to) and is beaten quite bloody for his efforts (Syed seriously considered putting Niles out of his misery, but at the top of the next round decided on another course of action).

Combat Round 2:

To begin, Syed exploded the goblin's head with pistol shot. Vala followed up with a mauling strike against a drake. Warden seeing the tide of the fight turn around, delivers a mighty blow to a drake with his great axe. Duamerthrax creeps up behind the middle drake and attempts to circumcise it (appearently it’s really a circle strike, but it came out…well you get the idea). Niles continues his sea chanty and remains bloodied for his trouble (Syed remained quite annoyed at the landlubber’s blasphemy). To increase the level of iritation he taunts a well-cultured hobgoblin. Rather then gouge out its own eardrums, the hobgoblin stabs itself through the heart, expiring immediately. A bloodied drake snaps at Warden and takes a small bite out of his calf. Another drake attempts to take off Niles hand but chokes on its own tongue, rather then taste the sourness of talentless flesh. Sam blasts a drake with a dazing blow. Hurricane, cowering in the corner, flung his most potent offensive tool, a magic missle, at a drake. A drake seeing its chance to slay the wailing cat-thing drow, spits at him. Niles, in taking a bow, avoids the attack.

Combat Round 3:

Syed kills the stunned drake with a pistol shot to the brain pan. Vala performs another fierce and flamboyant grapsing claws attack, but to no avail. Wardren, his great axe still dripping with the blood of the vanquished, strikes the drake menacing him. Duamerthrax and Deifenbacker move in and with Wardren pin the drake against the wall and properly circumcise it. Niles spits all over himself in some drakish language and the drake is now enthralled with him. Sam, like David before him (her), delivered death by a sling bullet to the last drake. Rejoice! The party is victorious!

Out of combat. Room is filled with bas reliefs of merchant type activites. Sam lifts a key from the goblin corpse and with Syed's help is able to identify it as a shackle master key. The party takes a short rest and then decides to take the left door after staking the other 2 doors closed. Approaching the door, Wardren and Duamerthax hear pleas for salvation. Hurricane, in his cowardly way stepped out of the possible blast range, just in case. Sam steps up to check the door, declaring it free of traps. Then he (she) opens the door, insisting that Almirith would want to rescue whomever was within. Inside the room, the party sees three low sarcophagi (like bas reliefs) and a woman (Jalissa) shackled to the wall. Jalissa asks to be freed. Duamerthax frees Jalissa using the key that Hurricane recovered from the goblin. Jalissa ignores the dwarf, flinches upon seeing the drow and runs straight into the arms of the paladin. After sobbing to be returned home she informs the party that an eight-year-old boy Thurdren (a thief of foodstuffs) is around here somewhere. She also said that the hobgoblins, had abducted her. Syed offers the girl a flask to calm her nerves. Syed also is beginning to wonder why the paladin doesn’t bed the talling girl. Perhaps somewhere within the Paladin’s vows and sacrifices he agreed to give up his …. I mean become a eunuch? Wardren takes the girl back to camp and Almirith's care (no passion there either, the fey don’t mix with the commoners). The sarcophagi are loaded with treasure (2 parcels worth). (695 xp--now listed on the Google Docs XP tab)

The party unpins the middle doorway to reveal a huge complex. Almirith's squire moves forth to investigate. He (she) moves down the stairs to find a very still pool of water. As he (she) was moving back into the hallway, the door to the party's left opened and a horde of undead burst into the halls. Sam stands in the middle of the hallway, eyes wide, and wetting him(her)self.

Combat Round 1:

Duamerthrax critically cleaves through the leading zombie returning it to its unholy rest. Niles sings out a jaunty drow tune, half the party contemplates suicide. All decide that being devoured by the undead is reason enough to fight even with the drow singing! A ghoul bites down on the ranger, sampling dwarf flesh and Duamerthrax is paralyzed with shock. Warden seeing the unholy abominations rushes into the fray, slamming a ghoul back into the room. The ghoul retaliates by grabbing the paladin and ordering the zombies to feast on the holy blight. The partner ghoul's jaw clamps down on the paladin's arm and subdues him. Syed puts a pistol shot between Niles legs (missing the family jewels by an gnat's wing) to punish a front rank zombie (z2). A zombie (z1) sees wolf flesh as a treat.

Combat Round 2:

Duamerthrax takes offense and belts it for touching the wolf. Warden enjoys his time as a ghoul sandwich. Not much fun, but no real damage either. Sam scales the walls and proceeds to pelt the undead with his (her) blinding dagger of death. He (she) slays a bloodied zombie, blinding to zombies, and scaring several ghouls. A zombie (z4) tries to slam into the paladin. Sam falls spectacularly to the ground as his (her) boots fail. [The ghoul rips a section of the paladin's neck out and throws his now dying body to the ground.] {History rewrite} Having missed Niles attack, the ghoul is now insulted and the Wardren receives a surge of health from the drow. The ghoul attacks again, but finds the taste of paladin flesh too rich enough for seconds. The paladin collapses (*again if you believe in time-space travel). Syed drills one of the offending ghouls with another pistol shot. The ghoul with the newly acquired lead accessory (bullet shaped) in his shoulder, steps over the paladin's body and thrashes Duamerthrax. Sam tosses a dagger with flourish and slays the blinded ghoul. In its death throws the ghoul attempts to defile the paladin one last time. Hurricane finding a use for the magical Staff heaves a critical blow against several of the abominations. Drawing upon his reserves, Hurricane presses the attack...

Combat Round 3:

The Ranger slays a ghoul with a mighty strike. The last ghoul's claws bounce off the paladin's mail armor. Wardren, feeling divine inspiration, rises up from near death to separate the ghoul's lower body from its upper. Rejoice the party is victorious again, but not without spilling much of its own blood.

Moving into the room. The party discovered a black sun marking on the floor. Sam walks past the floor mosaic to check the far side of the room. The floor is quite rickety and will require the party to pass one at a time.(162 xp)