Sunday, November 7, 2010

Long Live Boris!

For those of you who do not know, I loved N64's Goldeneye. It is the granddaddy of the FPS, split screen, trash-talking smackdown that invaded my life for several years in the late 90's. We played every variable in the game. We played story mode, co-op mode, and vrs. mode. We played knives, handguns, rifles, automatics, mines, mines, and more mines...and when you thought you had had enough we played slap fights.

My group of friends played so much we ended up having to play round robin in brackets. There was even the famous "I have a friend who plays Goldeneye and he's probably as good as you" conversation. That led to a meeting, at which the ground rules were established as to who would be crowned the undying King of Goldeneye. The three round match was ultimately decided in a stunning fashion. Round One was a dead heat, 8 to 7 in automatics. Round 2 will go down in history as a clinic round. I mercilessly pounded him to a final score of 12-1 in handguns. (It worked out well that we had decided to set aside all house rules, including my own of No-Gun/No-Shoot.) Once he was put down, I hunted his spawn points and made short work of him, it was the most painful 5 minute round of his life. After that the third round I phoned in. Remote mines...I didn't even have to try. I may even have lost that round, taking a dive to prevent the sweep.

Well now it is 2010 and Nintendo announced that Goldeye makes its return to console life! At first I was thrilled..."Sweetassed! Goldeneye!" Then horror set in..."Oh, no! Rare isn't making it! Activision has the license and the fucked up Roge Agent!"

So here it is...I have laid my hands on a copy (rental!) and played through the introduction and I loved it! It is not exactly like the N64 days, but between the idyllic remembrances and the overall brilliance of the game at the time I do not believe any game will match those standards. What is does do is feels like Goldeneye! I can already see new epic firefights in the near future! Projectors and Wiis abounding! Smack talk and head shots are soon to be in my future!

I put out the call to Goldeneye fanatics everywhere! Suit Up! And long live Boris!

Now for my one Hawaiian shirt. Crap! Well there it is, the only thing wrong with Goldeneye Wii 2010!

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